Losing my politics
Losing my politics
I’d like to talk about how my politics have changed since the 2016 general election. I’m black, I’m trans, and I believe in conservatism. It’s pretty scary because not long ago I fancied myself a socialist. I grew up in my adolescence as a Democrat and later embraced the left, mostly because I thought I had to.
It first started when all the reports went off about the uptick in violence post-election. I thought it was best I buy a gun. So I did. My progressive, liberal, and surprisingly many leftist friends acted paternalistic towards my choice, telling me how guns are a menace to society. I started to notice contradictions within the left ideology: they claim to speak up for minorities but don’t want us to be able to defend ourselves. They say they Black Lives Matter — an organization whose main focus is police brutality - and yet want to deny American citizens of firearms and self defense, arguing that only the police and military should be allowed guns. So then minorities are worth protecting but we shouldn’t be allowed to defend ourselves?The blocks came tumbling down after that, as I saw lie after lie after lie of liberal/left ideology. What else were they lying about?
But it wasn’t just the lies. It was the bastardization of social justice turned into petty Oppression Olympics. It was the constant scoffing of free speech by many communists, socialists, and liberals who directly benefited from their speech not being censored given their propensity to hate the state. More and more I realized I was surrounded by babies and was exhausted that I had to be outraged over something frivolous every other day. That’s not to say conservatives don’t get offended, but not like people on the left, who have turned the verb into an art form.
Another thing that pushed me towards conservatism was becoming religious again. I saw the value in having an age old system of worshipping something bigger than yourself. I started to see the value in tradition and respectability. Far too used to the hedonism of today’s society I found religion to offer a wonderful fertile reprieve away from that. I remembered the utter debauchery that Pride events had become. And the more pro-life the less I could reconcile being on the left. The more dedicated to Catholicism I got the more conservative I got. The more religious I got, the more people who claimed to be friends stated to cast me away from the circle. It even got to the point where I was accused of being a hateful Christian just because I levied criticism toward Antifa, arguing that violence should be a last resort. I was accused of aiding fascists, abandoned, and forced into social death.
I realized how liberalism/leftism has the ability to inspire mediocrity. I am starting a business now with a friend and pursuing other ventures so I can compete and be a good citizen. I feel empowered by conservatism. No more do I have to solely point to something like white supremacy or privilege and say that’s why I’m struggling. That’s not to say it doesn’t exist, but who cares if it does? The same is true for capitalism. How should any of this stop me from being my best? Shouldn’t it inspire me to be the best I could be?
I haven’t joined the Republican Party (yet). In Texas I can’t register as an independent. As a black and trans person I told myself that the Democratic Party was the only real choice but now I realize that that is a self made prophecy. I had no other choice because I’m not forcing the two parties to compete for my vote — which is the intention of the system — but instead continuously voted for a party that just expected it. I’m currently going through candidates in my states mid-terms and researching the— D and R. I’ve been a voter since 2014 but for the first time since then I feel empowered, I feel emboldened, but most of all I feel free to pursue politics the way *I* want to rather than do what is expected *of* me. I’m free to ask questions like,”why should I care about the DREAMERS? How does this impact Americans and why are they given priority over people who immigrated legally?” without feeling the constant guilt and shame of adhering to other people’s standards, where curious minds are made to think one way only.
I still think people should have a right to universal healthcare. I still think white supremacy exists. I still think some social programs are necessary and good. I still think the Republican Party should treat minorities better. I still love Latinos. I still want equal rights for all Americans but I’m done with the facade.
